These fucking piss my dick off to no end. By far the most clit-mulching fuck whore dick prick cock wang piss-pipe penis shit hole trend I have ever seen.
Have you ever wanted to half-blind yourself in the name of fashion? Well lucky for your fuckhole NOW YOU CAN STOP RIPPNG OUT YOUR LEFT EYEBALL AND BUY A GOD DAMNED PAIR OF SHUTTER SHADES.
Why the shitlilly would any son of a mentally impaired, castrated, bleeding, bitch want to wear these vision-robbing pieces of nipplefuck?
They make you look like the asshole prince of the fucking assholes and you would be able to see how much of an asshole you are if you could look into your mirror, but there is a fucking WALL OF SHIT between you and recognizing that you are a dick-rubbing vagina shit who snorts cocaine from the dick of a rotting roadkill deer, you asshole of an asshole’s asshole’s asshole, you vomit-lubricated cock bag, you infernal fucking fly fuck.
TAKE THEM OFF AND MELT THEM INTO A DILDO AND GO FUCK YOURSELF FOR BEING A PRICK.
Fuck those Motherfucking face ornaments.
-Matt
Sherpas.
FUCK SHERPAS.
You fagass shitmiesing sodomatic assass tibetan fucks are the fucking dickest pieces of shit this side of the whore-damned universe. Fuck. Your. Shit Cocks.
I am going to find your fucking alpaca, tear it’s teeth out, and rape it’s bloody mouth with a fucking chic-o-stick. After it has a sufficient amount of rough, scratchy, coconut candy broken of in it’s bleeding gums I am going to pour a bucket of high molar salicylic acid into it’s eyeballs and throw it off the edge of a fucking MOUNTAIN.
Then I am going to make a whip out of it’s hide and whip your ass into jerky because you are the slimiest, dickhole bitch fuck cunt-dracula FUCK HOLES to ever mountaineer.
FUCK SHERPAS, MOTHERFUCKER.
-Matt
Inner thigh workout machines deserve to eat dugong shit out of their retarded mother’s mouths. These dildoing twat blisters make you so fucking sore that you can barely take a damned step towards the fucking bottle of advil you need to take another few steps to violently jam a rusty pipe into a fucking inner thigh workout machine’s eyeball and pour fire ants into it’s evil, whore-bitch, 80-percent-of-the-time-dick-filled, fucking underdeveloped head.
Shit on you, you cunt-diving son of a assfucking bitcharoni salad. Shit on your fucking face, because my fucking legs hurt like a fuck.
Fuck you Motherfuckers.
-Matt
You see this moon?
You see this fucking motherfucking moon?
Can you recognize with your shit-filled eyeballs this cunt-penis ball of matter that shitting swings it’s cheesy assbutt canker-licking dick chopper ass around our home planet?
Well this motherfucking puke filled cunthole has been disrespecting us for too many fucking moons. This twat-slime licking cumhole bloody dick asser moons everyone in the world EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. ASSHOLE.
I know what you are thinking, “the moon allows for a sustainable life-allowing condition on earth by altering the earth’s core’s speed, mulitplying the oceans tides by a factor of three, and keeping the earth’s axis at a stable tilt.” Don’t say you weren’t thinking that because I fucking knew you were. And you need to stop thinking because you are an asshole-snack retard if you think that any of that measly shit is anywhere close to being enough to compensate for how much of an irrepressible fucktunnel the moon is. The moon is a prick-diddler and will fucking always gulp fiery semen from the cock of a wrinkly shitfather whore fuck.
Fuck THAT motherfucker moon fuck.
-Matt
Fuck this motherfucker.
I hate these ingrown pieces of shit. Always walking the fuck around like motherfucking water balloons waiting for my sledgehammer to drop. They look like the fucking result if Goliath’s balls were ripped out during battle, grew legs, fucked, and threw the afterbirth in a dumpster for a week to fester with a side of freshly raped fetus carcasses and three year old milk.
I mean look at this stupid fucking tumble-fag! It looks like the half-eaten abortion of a retarded giraffe and a prehistoric rolly-polly that was delivered by a cross-eyed aboriginal walrus with down syndrome. Roll yourself off a cliff, you rape-lilly fagtard, before I tear your shell off with a screwdriver, douse you in salt, and bowl you off myself.
You’re not cute, so STOP FUCKING LYING TO ME!
Fuck ALL these motherfuckers.
-John
Fuck this motherfucker.
You think you’re so fucking cute with your rambunctiousness and your tiny fucking hands. Are you going to make some piece of shit art project for my birthday instead of a real god damn present?
Fucking childhood, man. That fucking sucked, right? Jesus Cuntballs. Shitting your pants is fucking sweet. But it’s also fucking illegal when you’re not a god damn teet-feeding baby! Enjoy sucking on your mom’s tit, you oedipal baby-fuck.
You what else sucks, asschild? When your shit-covered grown-ass adult body is in bed trying to get some cuntlicking sleep but you can’t because you’re crying your pansyass-eyes out, wondering what the hoboshit happened to your shitty life. No more Goosebumps, you nasty cake farter; No more Hey Arnold or Are You Afraid of the Dark.
I overdosed on you, Nostalgia, you Ann Coulter-fucking nazi of fun, you oozing whore, you smegma covered foreskin.
Go catch some herpes before I start remembering Action League Now-FUCK.
-Remy & Jaclyn
Fuck You
Fucking follow me, you cunt-holes.
